Identity Theft
by vapourtrailreads
Summary: Tonks gets up to no good while waiting for Snape to arrive. Young Tonks and young Charlie Weasley - Rated K


A/N:

Tonks gets bored while waiting for Snape to come for class.

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 **Identity Theft**

"I'm bored," whined Tonks, her spiky hair fading from pink to grey and back again.

"So am I," said Charlie, dismissive. "Now be quiet, I'm sure he's coming soon."

The sixth-year students fidgeted restlessly in the Potions classroom – or Potions dungeon, as Tonks called it, alluding to the fact that that was what it was – waiting for their teacher to arrive. At first, they had entertained themselves by challenging Tonks on how fast she could change her hair colour, but they'd tired of it after Tonks broke out into an awful case of warts that stayed for three minutes. The tension – and boredom – in the air was palpable, so thick you could fill a balloon with it and the balloon would sink. Tonks sighed and changed her fingernails into dragon claws, drumming them loudly on the wooden desk with an incessant clicking noise.

"Stop it, Tonks." Charlie yawned, then rested his head on the desk. "When is Professor Snape coming?"

Tonks leaned back so she could kick her feet up on the table. "I don't care."

"I _know_ you don't but – Merlin, why am I even sitting with you?" Charlie asked exasperatedly.

"You wanted to," Tonks replied.

Charlie rolled his eyes and checked the time. It was fifteen minutes past nine – fifteen minutes of double Potions gone. If Professor Snape turned up late and they didn't get to finish their assignment… what if that potion was exceptionally crucial to getting the qualifications for dragon taming? What if he didn't know how to complete it and failed his N.E.W.T.s in Potions? What if he stayed back to finish it and missed the next lesson and failed his N.E.W.T.s in that subject? What if, what if, what if…

"Oh, stop worrying, Weasley," Tonks drawled, her feet still on the table. Charlie gawked at her, "Don't you care about _your_ grades?"

"I care about my grades," she said. "I don't care about Snape."

"Merlin, Tonks," he said. "You should put yourself in his shoes for a change."

Tonks opened her mouth to make a snappy remark, but Charlie never heard it. Her lips curved into a mischievous, almost malicious grin. "Put myself into his shoes, you say?" she echoed slowly.

Charlie realised what she was planning. "Tonks, no."

She grinned and got up from her stool. "Tonks, yes."

He facepalmed.

When Charlie looked up, he nearly kicked himself. Tonks was standing on the teacher's desk, waving her long black sleeves like a Dementor. Her heart-shaped face and bubblegum pink bangs had been traded for long greasy black hair and a gaunt face with a hooked nose.

Tonks pointed her nose in the air, barely staying on the table as the entire dungeon exploded into laughter. " _I am Professor Snappy the Potions master_ ," she said in a grossly inaccurate imitation of Snape's voice. " _Ten points to Slytherin_."

Charlie couldn't help but burst into helpless giggles along with everyone else. In an instant, Tonks was beside him, levelling a bony finger at his face. " _You are breathing again, Weasley,_ " she chided. " _Five million points from Gryffindor, dragon boy!_ "

Amid tears of laughter, Charlie flashed her a thumbs-up. Tonks swept around to the front of the class again, her black robe flapping behind her like a peacock's tail.

Tonks grabbed a vial of yellow liquid of the desk and held it above her head dramatically.

" _Today… we shall learn about the world's deadliest potion,_ " she intoned monotonously, to general mirth. " _Weasley. Tell me more about this dreadful draught, yes._ "

With some difficulty, Charlie deadpanned in reply. "Tea with sugar?"

" _Nooooo, you dunderhead!_ " blustered Tonks. " _This vile potion goes by the name of…_ shampoo."

That was the last straw. Charlie doubled over and tumbled off his stool, his body convulsing with laughter. All around the dungeon, students were crying into each other's shoulders and slapping each other on the back, while others slammed their tabletops, catcalling and yelling for encores.

Unexpectedly, everyone fell silent. Tonks morphed back into her usual self, cheeks flushed with triumph and slight sheepishness. The students scrambled back into their seats as Snape paced through the dungeon, stopping directly in front of her. Charlie gulped.

"Detention, Miss Tonks," hissed Snape.

Tonks threw back her head and laughed, and the tight knot in Charlie's chest loosened a little.

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Fandom: Harry Potter

Venue: Potions dungeon, Hogwarts

Time: Pre-Golden Trio

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